Debbie Ayles

Phyllis Baldino

Justin Bailey

Artist's Website

Justin Bailey, My Monstrous Mondrian Migraine, 1986. © 2005 Justin Bailey (http://www.ahumanbeing.co.uk/Figurative /Figurative html/My Monstrious.html, August 30, 2002)

"human beings... are... paintings that I created in the mid to late 1980's. I call them figurative, because they all contain elements of the human form, although some of them have abstract elements too. These pictures are more narrative and refined than the earlier, primitive paintings."

(From the artist's http://www.ahumanbeing.co.uk/Figurative /Fig detail page.html website, August 30, 2002)

"My Monstrous Mondrian Migraine was painted on the 21st of March 1986. It was one of the original paintings I did in my very first, proper studio (i.e., not my bedroom!). I consider it to be a seminal painting of my oeuvre for a number of reasons, but mostly because it encapsulates that particular moment in time for me.

As then, like this particular day, the 23rd of August 2004, (as I wrote the initial, rough text to this essay), I was experiencing the same awesome, hideous, painful mind disorganisation that could be diagnosed as a migraine. It is one of life's strange coincidences that made me start writing this, right then. Klaus Podoll has asked me on a number of occasions, to write some text to accompany the picture. Due to unforeseen and tragic circumstances in my life this summer, I have found it hard to get the energy to pen to paper (or tap the keys on my keyboard) and have been lax in getting any documentation written. So today, of all days, as I was finishing the final unpacking of my art stuff into my latest studio, I unearthed the actual painting. I decided that this was a good time to finally write the essay now I could see it in real life.

Maybe it was a some weird memory feedback looking at the painting, or maybe it was the overwhelming experience of getting used to a different space, a new studio, or maybe it was simply the stress of actually writing, but I started feeling uncomfortable. I don't get migraines often - in fact, I have never been diagnosed as a sufferer. However, whilst I do get headaches sometimes, these are mild compared to the 'hyper-headaches' that I am occasionally afflicted with. I contend that these are migraines. A normal headache is manageable. A couple of paracetamol and I can function reasonably well. If I have one of these 'hyper-headaches' I am essentially debilitated. I can take medication, but it will do little to ease the pressure in my brain. My head fears stimulation. It cries out for less noise, and for the harsh, abnormally bright lights and colours of daytime to be toned down or muted. I feel displaced. My being is both outside of my body and also clamped and trapped inside the prison of my tormented head.

Anyway, as I was scribbling some words in my notebook, I definitely started feeling unwell. I was looking at this painting, who's subject matter is about a particular condition, to get some thoughts to write about it, and I stated experiencing the very same symptoms the painting was describing.

The picture shows a figure (me), looking dazed and distressed. Coming out of my head are strange symbols. These are graphic representations of the turmoil my tortured head is experiencing. The painting was made very quickly. It is essentially a coloured drawing done with brushes. My disrupted brain could not have coped with any more intricate or detailed work. Somehow, the misfiring synapses in my brain that were causing so much pain, were also giving me a primal, direct energy to attack the canvas. (Or indeed, write some disjointed sentences). The initial black drawing on white canvas was done in a few frenzied minutes, and the red, yellow and blue were added straight after. I am looking into a black void, such is the despair I was feeling. The primary colours (Mondrian's main palette) are there to illustrate the abstract. From these three colours come all other colours. They evoke emotions, senses and feelings as well as an absence of these very things.

I consider it to be a seminal painting because it fuses together in one work most of the strands (or styles) of my work. The figurative, the hard-edged geometric abstraction, and the decorative, illustrative abstraction that are facets of my work, are all represented here in one picture. It is a crude grafitti-type (caveman) painting that is informed by sophisticated modernity - Mondrian's artwork.

The witty alliteration of the title (My Monstrous Mondrian Migraine) came out of the blue, but, I believe, it perfectly sums up the picture and also the destructiveness of a serious dis-ease that affects millions of sufferers."

(Email to Klaus Podoll, September 9, 2004)

Author: Klaus Podoll
Last modification of this page: Saturday March 12. 2005

Debbie Ayles

Phyllis Baldino

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